Saturday, October 24, 2009

Still here!

My posts have not been very regular lately, as you've probably noticed. No, I haven't disappeared, life has just been very full. My hubby has been having back pain for quite some time, which had gotten progressively worse, until it had gotten to the point of him being unable to go to work, to stand for more than a few minutes, or drive the past week or so. Fortunately, he was able to have a back surgery done at the hospital yesterday and I am happy to say, so far it has provided a great deal of relief. Sure, he has a long way to go in his recovery, but the pain he has now is mostly from the incision site, not from the nerve being compressed. I am so thankful for that! Needless to say, that is why I've been absent. With him unable to be up and around, I've been responsible for all the child and house care lately, which leaves little time for blogging. Really, I'd be happy to do it all everyday if it means he'd be out of pain. Watching hubby go through this gave me a whole new perspective on how difficult it is to be sick. Your entire day revolves around your ailment and the pain it causes. Sometimes it's just enough to make it to the next dose of meds. I truly feel for anyone who has to deal with chronic pain on a daily basis-I can't imagine. Even trying to get the help you need can be difficult. Sometimes it can feel like others don't care. While in the hospital, the flashing nurse's button seemed to just be ignored, requests for pain meds had to be made 2 or 3 times, and a visit from the doctor was delayed for hours. I looked around at some of the other patients there-many in far worse condition-and felt sad that they didn't have their loved ones there to fight for them. And yes-sometimes you have to fight! Today, I went to fill a new prescription for painkillers and was encountered with a pharmacist who refused to fill it. Though she didn't come out and say it, I knew the reason-she thought we were drug abusers. I was very upset-here I was with a legitimate prescription from a doctor and she wouldn't fill it. I was not rude to her, but my words were most definitely not loving or kind. Upset, I took the prescription and left. After calling the doctor, who was surprised at the pharmacists decision, he encouraged us to visit another pharmacy. Another one was out of stock, but we finally found a 24 hour one several miles away. While driving there at 8 pm, tired and worn out from the day, I prayed that God would help this go smoothly-better than the last time. It was at that point the Lord convicted my heart. I'm sure that other pharmacist had a reason for doing what she did, but at the time, I really wasn't interested. Whatever situations she was going through in her life, maybe she just needed someone to show her the love of Jesus today. Whether that made a difference in her decision shouldn't have mattered. Sadly, ashamedly, she didn't see Jesus through me today. She just saw another upset customer that she probably assumed didn't care about her either. It's so easy to love others when they love us back, isn't it? But God doesn't often surround us with people who are always loving and kind. He puts all these difficult types in our path, I'm sure to grow and develop us. I can see that now, but it's just so hard to do! Still, I wouldn't want it any other way. The Lord knows what is best for me-and my hubby-even if it causes pain or suffering for us along the way. What started out as a complaint has turned to a praise!

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear of the pain. We will be praying for you all.