Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Lately, there has been so much going on in my life-struggles within my family and incidents outside of it-that have left me feeling anxious, which is not something I normally carry with me. For the most part, it caused me to have an attitude of "what's next?" or rather, "who's next?" in anticipation of what incidents I thought may come in the future. What has all this worrying done for me? Absolutely nothing except cause me to take my focus off the Lord and instead, dwell on my circumstances. Today during my prayer walk, the Lord gave me a wake up call. Yes, he does that a lot during this time and I'm thankful for that because I truly needed it! He brought to mind a verse that brought me through another situation several years back when I was feeling a lot of anxiety. After I had miscarried what would have been our 6th child 7 years ago and was pregnant soon after with our next baby, it appeared this pregnancy was in trouble and there was a good chance this baby would not make it too. I was overwhelmed with anxiety and sadness about losing another baby and didn't know what to think. Well, the Lord not only reassured me that everything would be fine, but He also showed me Philippians 4:6 : "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Wow! I repeated this verse over and over on my way to my ultrasound, definitely feeling at peace with what may happen, but fully expecting bad news at the same time. Instead, I got our first look at our new baby's heartbeat and what would be a precious baby girl. I was elated-but also ashamed that I had not trusted the Lord, but instead chose to worry instead. Well, today, the Lord reminded me of that special verse-reminded me that I don't need to worry-I truly can trust in Him. I do believe that in my heart, I just sometimes need to get a wake up call, you know? I wish so often that I had more faith than I do-sometimes I just feel like a doubting Thomas! But it is never because the Lord has let me down-He never has. Instead, He has shown me love, grace, and kindness that I truly do not deserve. Thank you Lord, for being there for me, even when I so often doubt you!
Posted by Quivermom at 9:36 PM